Parodies: Thank You For The Kevlar

[Sung to the tune of Thank You For The Music by ABBA]

I'm nothing special, in fact, I'm a bit of a dud;

If I told a joke, you'd probably throw bricks of mud,

But I'm wearing armor and I have this shield,

Whatever you throw at me, I still will not yield

To your hatred and spite

Or that sting in your tail or your bite.

Chorus:

So I say thank you for the Kevlar I've started wearing

For the filth, the wisecracks and swearing;

Who'd survive without it, this place was just like Kharkiv or Tel Aviv

Where bombs and rockets rained down from the skies;

So I say thank you for the Kevlar, safeguards me from you guys.

Mama says I hated fighting when I was a child,

Um-hmm, she says it was coz my nature was way much too mild,

And I've often wondered how it might've been

Had I been a tough guy like, well, Steve McQueen

Or Chuck Norris or Blade,

Never one to back down or afraid.

[repeat chorus]

Sub-Chorus:

I've been so lucky,

I could've have had my head blown off;

Here in the trenches of this hostile platform

Everyone has his sights locked on you.

Chorus:

Thank you for the Kevlar I've started wearing

For the filth, the wisecracks and swearing;

Who'd survive without it, this place was just like Kharkiv or Tel Aviv

Where bombs and rockets rained down from the skies;

So I say thank you for the Kevlar, safeguards me from you guys;

So I say thank you for the Kevlar, safeguards me from you guys.

Parodies